Bad Dates and Breadsticks
by exocara
Summary: Tsuna gets roped into three/four bad dates and accidentally becomes a serial breadstick-napper. (Also, he probably formed some strange kinship with that red haired waiter who kept getting assigned to him. Yay?) / Also known as the breadsticks meme fic no one asked for.


i'm trash and i really like this particular meme for some reason.

i think there might be a hint of 0027 because it was originally intended to be 0027 but i got lazy. this work features bad 10027 and 6927 dates. one of each, and they aren't romantic in the slightest.

* * *

"Date someone, they say. It'll be _fun_ they say," Tsuna muttered to himself as he sat in the restaurant booth waiting for his blind date that his mother had set him up with. Two hours had already passed. Quite obviously, they were late.

Thank god this was a casual dinner setting so Tsuna could wear his hoodie. Formal wear made him uncomfortably stiff. He was still somewhat convinced that formal wear was less of a type of clothes and more of a state of mind.

"Um… May I take your order?" Tsuna glanced at the red haired waiter that had been assigned to his table. He looked both awkward and slightly pitying, no doubt thinking that Tsuna's date had stood him up. Tsuna glanced at his watch and decided that, yes, it was probably time to give up on this disastrous date. It was too bad that he had ingested at least three baskets of the surprisingly delicious and _free_ breadsticks provided by the restaurant and hence had no room for an actual meal.

The waiter shifted uneasily, unsure of what to do. He was probably new staff. Tsuna quickly glanced through the dessert section of the menu and picked what seemed to be the lightest option.

"I'll have this one please."

"Yes, okay!" the waiter seemed a bit shocked to take Tsuna's order and stuttered, quickly scribbling something down on the notepad he had and scurrying away. Tsuna made a mental note to tip him well; it must have been nerve-wracking to be a waiter for someone who had obviously been stood up.

-o-

Tsuna was in the restaurant again. Why couldn't his mother take the hint that he would rather deal with his romantic life – personally – and stop with the fake dates? It was getting invasive and tiring.

At least he was familiar with the restaurant. And the waiter. Looking at the waiter's slightly panicked face, Tsuna felt a little bad.

His date was early this time. His date also had terribly messy – not that he was one to talk – white hair, odd purple eyes, and a crafty smile that sent warning bells ringing in Tsuna's head.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," his date said slowly, as if savouring the feel of Tsuna's name on his tongue. Tsuna made his lips form a smile. It felt terribly forced and plastic, but his date didn't comment on it so Tsuna guessed it was okay.

"That's me. And you are…?" Tsuna held his hand out for a handshake.

"Byakuran. Gesso Byakuran." Byakuran took Tsuna's hand and brought it to his lips. Tsuna adverted his eyes and waited until an appropriate amount of time had passed before he snatched back his hand. In an attempt to put some sort of barrier between him and Byakuran, Tsuna opened the menu and placed it in front of him.

"Well, Byakuran, it's nice to meet you," Tsuna said, lying through his teeth. Byakuran beamed at him. Unconsciously, Tsuna reached out to pull the basket of breadsticks closer to him.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you in person as well, Tsunayoshi. The pictures really do fail to capture your beauty," Byakuran said. His words made Tsuna pause.

"…what pictures."

"Your mother showed me pictures of you when she suggested that I meet up with you." Byakuran looked innocent, but Tsuna knew a wolf in sheep's clothing when he saw one. "I have to say that you have impeccable taste in clothing. Bunny prints, while juvenile on others, really do look cute on you."

Tsuna stood up.

"My mother is calling me. I'm going right now. Immediately." Without waiting for an answer, he turned around and left the restaurant. From his peripheral vision, he saw the waiter with a horrified expression on his face and winced. Alright, he needed to go back and apologise to the restaurant staff, but only after he was sure Byakuran was gone.

His mother didn't have any pictures of him in bunny prints because the only clothing item he had with those prints had been bought merely a day ago. And they were boxers.

Tsuna didn't want to know how Byakuran knew that. He didn't even want to know that Byakuran knew that.

As he calmed down, he realised that he was still holding something. He looked down at his hands.

It was the basket of breadsticks.

 _Ah_. Tsuna thought to himself as he felt overwhelming embarrassment begin to fill him. _So t_ _hat's why the waiter looked so horrified._

-o-

Tsuna was at the restaurant again. He really couldn't say no to his mother, even if he wanted to. Which was why he was here. In the restaurant. With the _same waiter_.

Tsuna didn't want to meet his eyes.

This time Tsuna was early to the date. His shift had finished early and he didn't really have anywhere else to be. He was stuck in time limbo in which if he went somewhere before going to the restaurant, he would most definitely be late. However, if he went to the restaurant immediately, he would be incredibly early.

Well, his mother always told him better to be early than late.

(He kind of wanted to spite her, though, seeing that he didn't even want to be here in the first place. However, he knew that by doing that he would be subjecting himself to a full day of the 'I'm disappointed in you Tsu-kun' look so he refrained. In the end, he was still that spineless little coward who couldn't say no to requests.)

To pass the time, Tsuna started eating the breadsticks. He was a bit surprised that they were still giving them to him after the… mishap that had happened earlier.

When breadsticks weren't enough to alleviate his boredom, he took out his phone to play some games. That did the trick and it didn't take long for his date to arrive.

"Kufufu, buono sera. My name is Rokudo Mukuro," he introduced himself.

 _Unfortunate name,_ was Tsuna's first thought. It was followed by _Unfortunate hair_ , when Tsuna finally took in the man's appearance.

"My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, but you can call me Tsuna." The familiar phrase left his mouth easily as he introduced himself. "Buono sera… is that Italian?"

"Yes it is, Tsunayoshi. Are you well versed in languages?"

"Not really, I just know a bit of Italian because of my grandfather."

Ice broken, the two of them struck up a tentative conversation. Well, it was more tentative on Tsuna's part and more flirtatious on Mukuro's, but Tsuna's cautiousness was enough for the both of them.

"…and what are your thoughts on it?"

"My thoughts?" Mukuro pondered over the question and Tsuna was about to take it back and apologise for bringing the relatively heavy topic of political views out on a first date when Mukuro began to laugh. In a very creepy manner.

The warning bells began to ring in Tsuna's head.

"Kufufufu, I think that it would be best if there was no government at all. Just chaos and suffering. The third world war… sounds a bit poetic, don't you think?"

"…" Tsuna was functioning on autopilot now as he thanked the stars for the fact that he hadn't ordered anything yet. He put his phone in his bag. He put a breadstick in his bag. And then he put another. "I'm sorry but I have to leave right now. Immediately."

He then darted out of the restaurant.

(He didn't have to look to know that the waiter was laughing at him.)

-o-

"You're back to steal more breadsticks?" the red haired waiter asked. He was smiling shyly as he approached Tsuna's table to place the basket. Tsuna's face burned red as he stared at the table.

"Hopefully not," he replied and he could hear the waiter laugh softly. He had a nice laugh; definitely better than Mukuro's.

"Are you on a blind date again?" the waiter asked. There was a pause as Tsuna tried to piece himself back into being a proper functioning member of society instead of a gooey embarrassed mess and the waiter interpreted the silence negatively. "N-not that y-you have to tell me or anything!" he rushed to get out. "I'm sorry, I over stepped my bounds, I'm sorry–"

"Uh," Tsuna looked at the waiter's name tag. "Enma." The waiter stopped panicking. "Yeah, I'm on another blind date. And it's fine, I didn't reply immediately because I was trying to stop being embarrassed."

"Oh…"

"…"

"…"

"I'll… try not to steal your breadsticks?" Tsuna said in an attempt to break the awkward atmosphere. It worked and the both of them dissolved into giggles.

-o-

It was nearing the time for his date to show up. He had tried to ask his mother for details on his date, in desperate but failed attempt to prevent another magnificent disaster like the Byakuran and Mukuro incidents, but his mother only giggled and told Tsuna that it was someone he knew.

Tsuna knew a lot of people.

She also went on to say that he had black hair, and used to be a senior at Tsuna's school, which helped to narrow down the list of people. Kind of.

Tsuna had a lot of black haired seniors. He lived in Japan.

The door to the restaurant opened and Tsuna automatically glanced up. And froze in place.

Someone he knew, check. Black hair, check. Senior in school, check.

But this really can't be–

Hibari Kyoya looked around the restaurant. Fortunately, it was not crowded and hence there was no biting to death need. Unfortunately, it was not crowded and hence Hibari was able to catch sight of Tsuna easily. They made eye contact.

Hibari walked towards Tsuna. He looked mildly annoyed.

Tsuna quickly broke his gaze and _scrambled_ out of his seat.

"I need to go right now right now I'm going leaving immediately _immediately_ ," Tsuna hissed to Enma hysterically. Without hesitation, Enma made a gesture to another waiter – she had black hair that was pulled up into a ponytail and a strange black armband on her arm – before directing a pale Tsuna to the back door of the restaurant.

"Another bad date, huh?" he said sympathetically. Tsuna could only nod, too on edge to say anything else. Hibari Kyoya. Hibari _freakin'_ Kyoya. The protector of Namimori, the unbeatable demon. _That guy_.

What was his mother _thinking_?!

"At least I didn't steal any breadsticks this time?" Tsuna said once he could use his vocal chords again. Enma laughed at that, pressing a bundle of something wrapped in paper napkins into Tsuna's hands. Curious, Tsuna unwrapped it to see…

…breadsticks. He laughed, feeling any remaining tension ease out of him.

"Are you even allowed to give me this?"

"What the manager doesn't know won't kill her."

* * *

might have a part two, depending on my mood. don't ask me to update this, though.


End file.
